Current State of Mind

In the wake of all the news this week, I have found myself suffering from a lot of emotions. I did not necessarily want to keep quiet on the issue, but I also did not want to speak out because the only people I saw speaking out were either black or activists that I have come to trust and love and truly view as allies. I would only be adding to that if I chose to say something. After last night’s attack on the Dallas Police not much changed, more white people were saying things but I have seen exactly ONE Facebook post that I feel says the right thing, and it is a quote from a black man.

Here are some thoughts on what is happening in America right now:

  1. It is an election year, which means politicians are very outspoken at the city, state, and national levels. Many people that I know are unhappy with both frontrunners in the two-party system and I have to agree with them. There have been several points in this election season thus far that I have swung differently and tried to figure out what was most important to me. Now, I feel that I have to swing towards abolishing the two-party system. I already felt this had to come soon, but now I really don’t see other options.
  2. There is violence of all types, everywhere. There have been several terrorist attacks in other countries in the past weeks, there have been attacks by cops, there have been attacks by citizens, there have even been attacks by animals (which is different, of course). We can be upset and angry at the profiling, because it is definitely there. What I think is more productive however is being upset at people’s reactions. Orlando was a mass shooting, so naturally it should trigger different emotions. However, the amount of solidarity and support for the LGBTQ+ community was astounding. Where are people coming out to support my new fears?
  3. Fighting violence with violence is not the answer. What happens when you fight fire with fire? The fire grows out of control. I understand being upset at the cops for what is going on. It is at the forefront of the media, overshadowing basically everything else. However, killing cops in return is only going to heighten the fear cops possess therefore making the problem worse. I have friends who are officers, there are good and bad officers in this world. I know that and my friends know that. However, that doesn’t mean that we assume everybody is bad. It is literally one of the worst things in the world when someone sees my “blackness” before they see me. It SUCKS. So why do we do that to other people?

Right now, I need support and friends and community. However, what I really need is for people in this world who are not silenced to speak the f*** up. I know I am not the best at it, but it needs to happen. We will never change if we keep silent.

Thank you for reading. Please comment and share your thoughts. All comments are welcome whether you agree or disagree with the content. All I ask is that you be respectful of the writer and other readers’ opinions. The last think I want is to have someone feel like they can never speak up again because they were shamed.



Published by She Got The PhD

A web-based soapbox of an Assistant Professor of color in Chemical Engineering; sharing my feelings on books, academia, and current events. I hope you enjoy reading :)

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