I’m halfway done with my summer semester and it will still be seen how well I’ll do. Right now I’m still feeling skeptical. I’m focusing on my schoolwork more than I ever have in my life, and I’m still wondering if it’s good enough. I wouldn’t say that I’ve never had to work for anything in my life, but I certainly never had to work this hard. I just hope in the end everything will work out.
Yesterday was by far the best day of this week, and definitely the best day I’ve had since I had to accept coming back to school for the summer term. I finally gained the confidence in myself that I needed to get through these six weeks. For the first time, I don’t feel hopeless. I feel like the goal I’m working towards in actually achievable and that makes me really happy and gives me a renewed sense of hope. I hope that this continues.
During my class this morning I began to think about the things that would help me in the future, all the struggles I’m going through right now, etc. Currently, I’m struggling to figure out who I’ve become in the past year. I know that I’ve changed quite a bit from the person who graduated towards the top of the class in high school. Almost daily I ask myself, was my high school too easy? Did I not challenge myself enough? What about high school is making it so hard to succeed in college? Do I want to succeed? Am I having so much trouble because my heart isn’t in it? And thus far, I still have no answers.
While I was listening to other people give their job descriptions and why they chose that specific job I think, “Wow that sounds really interesting,” or “No, that’s not for me.” It really made me realize that I’m not sure about my chosen profession and career path, but it also made me think about why I chose it and in a way prove to myself that this is what I really want. I do enjoy what I’ve found out about chemical engineering, I think that my strengths and talents will help me succeed in this field and I honestly think that it is the right decision for me.