My sweet little Olive was born right at 35 weeks gestation, 6 pounds 9 ounces and 18.5 inches long with a full head of hair (yes, I had heartburn. Yes, I took Prilosec daily. No, Tums did not work). It was an absolutely crazy week. (Featured image is the last photo I have of my prengant belly).

Saturday: Baby shower

Sunday: Order all the crap we still need for a baby

Monday: Call midwives to be worked in because husband is worried about swelling

Tuesday AM: Water breaks

Tuesday PM: We have a baby!

These are the craziest parts of the story for me to think about:

1. The date of our baby shower was the same as we had planned to do it in person, before COVID reared its ugly head. We would have had to travel five hours by car to host it in the city of our choice (where my in-laws and many of our friends live). I was big and I was swollen but I was still comfortable.
2. My entire pregnancy, I was convinced it was a boy (and I wanted a boy). The morning my water broke, I woke up and just had this gut feeling that my baby was a girl. My water broke less than 2 hours after that, and ever since she was born it feels like I knew she was a girl the whole time.

These are the things that make me smile:

1. My Midwife team was incredible. Anytime I had a concern, I got an appointment and reassurance. The Midwife at my delivery was incredible. Her energy matched mine so well and I just felt so relaxed. Shit- I was telling jokes and saying please and thank you.
2. I loved my daughter the second I held her. All gooed up and it didn’t matter at all. Also, I legitimately had a cute baby. The first few days were a little hit or miss, but man. That’s all I can say.
3. I was joking around, laughing, and saying please and thank you during labor. I really didn’t ever feel that urge to be mean, hateful, or anything. I did have an epidural and my pain was manageable (I could still feel quite a bit, which was my desire). I truly think that even if I hadn’t, the contractions would have been bad, but the time in between was time to enjoy the miracle we were witnessing.

These are the things that make me sad:

1. While Olive was still in the NICU, I returned to the hospital to be monitored for high blood pressure. I had to lay uncomfortably propped up and attached to a blood pressure cuff for 3 hours, just a couple of floors above my baby instead of trying to feed her and get to know her.
2. I didn’t get 5 more weeks of pregnancy. I know this sounds crazy but I loved being pregnant. The swelling really didn’t bother me (although I did have some limited range of joint mobility I noticed the night before she was born that I think would have changed my outlook). Also, seeing the “xx weeks in versus xx weeks out” posts kinda bums me out because mine is going to be 34 weeks, which isn’t bad, it’s just less for both of us.