May I went on a family vacation with my boyfriend’s family for the first time. It lasted about 24 hours and it was still an awesome 24 hours. It was great to be welcomed into the family like that, and in later months I realized that it was mutual for our families in terms of welcoming. May was also a month when I was trying to change myself for me. I got quite fed up with the way things were going and decided I needed to do something about it. Ever since then I have been doing great. I guess, technically I made this decision in April and got the ball rolling in may.
My mother used to say “que sera” to me all the time when I was younger. I used to think it was a beautiful, magical phrase that would kind of make everything better if I just believed. Now, as an adult I really do believe that everything that comes is a “whatever will be, will be” situation. I truly believe that we all get what we deserve, whether that be good or bad. We earn our futures, but we cannot predict our futures. We earn success, but success may take 10 years to come instead of the 2 years we hope for.
This concept of “earning” our future is something I am really trying to hone right now. I am still learning what it is that I want for myself, and it is nice to be able to say that I am still learning about myself and the world at my age. I am not ready to stop growing, and I am in control of a lot of what happens to me, but not everything. I can choose to say “yes,” or I can choose to say, “no.” And sometimes, no is the correct answer. It isn’t about fear or shyness, but about doing what you believe in and believing in what you do.
Bonus fact: Written while listening to Come What May
She’s Got a Whole PhD 