Live Forever

So I’ve been rocking out to Live Forever by The Band Perry quite a bit this week (Listen here). And after what happened in Paris, I just don’t feel as uplifted anymore. I’m being hindered by the reminder that mortality is very real. More than just being mortal, it’s that someone else can take life away from you at any point and there’s nothing you can do about that.

What has not changed is that I want to live my life to the fullest. I don’t want to let fear stop me from doing the things I enjoy. I used to argue with someone often about the need to carry a gun. The argument was that carrying a gun could stop a shooter from hurting more people. The rebuttal was that if nobody was carrying a gun, the guns wouldn’t kill anybody. I believe each person should answer this question for themselves and without concern for other people. Fundamentally, this question is about how you make yourself feel safe. Safety is a feeling everybody should feel in every situation.

Did people in Europe feel safe when the news broke? What about people in America or Australia? Chances are, proximity had a lot to do with perceived feelings of safety. Even those in Paris, did those 1 mile away feel less safe than those 10 miles away? 100 miles away? How do those people feel today? How do you feel today?

I can honestly say for myself now that the shock has worn off, I feel worse today than I did yesterday. I am heart broken for anybody who had to watch the event live. I hurt for the families that lost people in the attack. I worry about the future for law enforcement in the city and surrounding areas. But I’m also happy that I am safe. I am happy that I woke up today and despite knowing what happened I wasn’t afraid that I was going to die today. I am thankful that I feel safe enough in my home and my community that I’m still not worried. I am thankful that I feel like I could live forever.

No matter what you felt yesterday and what you feel today I hope that the people you love know you love them, and I hope that you feel alive and safe.

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Published by She Got The PhD

A web-based soapbox of an Assistant Professor of color in Chemical Engineering; sharing my feelings on books, academia, and current events. I hope you enjoy reading :)

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